The Ten Plagues (an RFP Response)
From: firstname.lastname@example.org To: email@example.com Subject: RE: RFP for Providing Plagues -------------------------------------- I write regarding the recent Request For Proposals (RFP) for the provision of ten plagues to be delivered to Egypt. Based on the information we have received, there are some points upon which we require clarification so we can provide an accurate estimate for the cost and timescale involved in delivering what you need. 1. Regarding the conversion of water into blood. Is this only the water in the river Nile or all water in the country? If _all_ water, we can understand if this includes water stored in pools and jugs, but we want to be clear about how far to take this. For example, we know that most vegetables have high water content and that if turned to blood would have a substantial impact. However, we have concerns that the mess and shock this would create could be enough to put people off eating vegetables for generations to come. As an aside, the R&D department has mastered the ability to turn water into any red liquid. While not directly relevant here, it may be worth keeping in mind for any future miracles that involve the conversion of water. 2. Frogs. We're not familiar with the people of Egypt. Are they like the people of France? Especially with their diets? We have potential concerns if they treat frog's legs as a delicacy; they may not see an abundance of frogs as a plague. We, therefore, want to ensure that the numbers involved are substantially more than could be eaten. 3. Can you please clarify the difference between gnats and flies. We have concerns that people may not be able to see the difference and so see them as the same. We don't want any misconception about the number of plagues that are delivered. If there are no discernible differences between flies and gnats, some may interpret them as a single plague with a gap in the middle. 4. If the boils are to affect both animals and people, would it not be better to unleash this before killing off most of the livestock? We recognize that this might be a timing issue, and your intention may be to strike once they have replaced the animals. 5. Please can you provide details of the intended time between each of the plagues as it may help clarify your intentions and help us understand what you are asking us to deliver. The timing issue with boils also applies to the hail. As this will also destroy crops, we need to know how long after locusts eat all the plants you intend for the plague of hail. Of course, we acknowledge your omnipotence and that you have reasons for all you do. Our aim with these questions is to improve our understanding and to know your ways better so we can serve you better.
Just like the Bible, this wasn't written to be kept to yourself.
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